Thoughts that cannot be controlled, those pesky things that flood your mind, giving you no choice at all. I’ve learned to tune some out but sometimes, they get to you. Sometimes, it feels like the never-ending abyss that is your brain, is out to get you. You can’t listen to every thought in your brain, I doubt it is possible. But does everyone feel this way? Is it always like this? To think and think and think with no ending in sight? So many questions, so many ideas, solutions, phrases, the most random things, all going through your mind at once. What do you focus on? How do you focus? How do you pay attention to one thing amidst all others for extended periods of time? I try but then, it feels like I can’t, although again, my brain convinces me that nothing is impossible, thus, I try again. It’s a never-ending cycle. However, I like it, I like my brain, I like the way it thinks, I’m grateful to be the person that I am. Even though I just think myself in circles sometimes, it feels good to be able to think, to be able to imagine, it makes me feel alive. My thought processes are something I rarely share, not because I don’t want to but because, I wasn’t formed that way, I’ve learnt to keep things to myself, regardless of how harmful it may be, I will keep to myself as much as I can. I will not share the things that flood my mind, it is not what I am used to doing and habits are hard to break, especially, when it’s a choice you’re not willing to make. But you see this post? See how it jumps from one topic to another? Sometimes, relating back, but most of the time, not making sense? That is my mind, it’s how I think, it’s rarely understood but when you find someone that does, it makes it all okay. So here I am, telling you that’s it’s okay to think the way you do, learn to accept yourself, it’s the only way.
Trying to make yourself better only works when you understand what you already are, so accept yourself, learn and move on.